I have had a lot of conversations when it comes to being a feminist or not which get bogged down in what is meant by equality or why it is called feminism, as this alienates men (and many women). While I think these are valid and important debates, after all, they get us talking about something which hasn't been talked about enough in my lifetime (until the last year at least), I have, if I'm honest, found myself frustrated by them. Why can't people focus their efforts on what really matters here instead of making excuses by splitting hairs.
Then I read this article, which helped me understand it a little better. It describes how it's become popular to 'test' if you are feminist or not by asking if you believe men and women should be equal (I myself use this when I am being challenged on my stance as a feminist). However, she argues that it is actually a little more complicated than that. For example, you can believe that men and women should be equal but that has already been achieved; you can believe that men and women should be equal but that men also suffer from gender inequality just as much in different ways; or you may believe that men and women should be equal but just not be that interested in actively doing anything about it.
And all those are fine. As she states in the article there are plenty of ways to be awesome without working towards equal rights for women.
I know I have been guilty of wanting everyone to be on board my beliefs. If I believe them, then everyone should. My husband, as a fervent environmentalist, holds very strong beliefs, but he rarely makes other people feel uncomfortable for not believing the same things, or for not acting on their beliefs in the same way even if they do share them. I need to take a page out of his book.
However, the article finishes defending the right of the feminist movement to focus on women's rights. Not because they don't believe in the rights of men, but because we live in a world of historically and culturally inscribed female disadvantage. And I believe a lot of good would come about if that changed. I won't ask you to be a feminist, as long as you don't try to convince me that men have it just as bad.
Then I read this article, which helped me understand it a little better. It describes how it's become popular to 'test' if you are feminist or not by asking if you believe men and women should be equal (I myself use this when I am being challenged on my stance as a feminist). However, she argues that it is actually a little more complicated than that. For example, you can believe that men and women should be equal but that has already been achieved; you can believe that men and women should be equal but that men also suffer from gender inequality just as much in different ways; or you may believe that men and women should be equal but just not be that interested in actively doing anything about it.
And all those are fine. As she states in the article there are plenty of ways to be awesome without working towards equal rights for women.
I know I have been guilty of wanting everyone to be on board my beliefs. If I believe them, then everyone should. My husband, as a fervent environmentalist, holds very strong beliefs, but he rarely makes other people feel uncomfortable for not believing the same things, or for not acting on their beliefs in the same way even if they do share them. I need to take a page out of his book.
However, the article finishes defending the right of the feminist movement to focus on women's rights. Not because they don't believe in the rights of men, but because we live in a world of historically and culturally inscribed female disadvantage. And I believe a lot of good would come about if that changed. I won't ask you to be a feminist, as long as you don't try to convince me that men have it just as bad.