Emotions developed to aid our survival. They are signals to get our needs met and they are part of complex, embedded circuits that have ensured that. Fear is triggered by danger; sadness is evoked when something of value is lost; disgust is felt when something is rotten or wrong; anger arises when a goal is blocked - they tell us that something needs remedying and we need to take action, which once done, allows the feelings to dissipate. However, in a more complex environment (as we live in today), this gift becomes a glitch as we are not always able to take remedying action and therefore the feelings do not dissipate and our desire to change them creates further tension. The effort of trying to change things is what exhausts us.
Similarly, our rational mind, which enables us to identify desirable outcomes and review past events in order to get to new destinations, has enabled our progress as a species, through our ability to review past events in order to ensure successful outcomes, to bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be. However, the more we get, the more we want, and sometimes those things are actually unattainable - the glitch is in rationalising and analysing in order to find an answer or solution that is not attainable. Furthermore, these two circuits, feeling and thinking, often clash or reinforce each other's shortcomings. An inability to think our way out of a problem is compounded by feelings of failure, fear and loss. Feelings of fear, failure or loss, trigger our rational mind to try and think its way out of something that cannot be thought out of. And so on. This is compounded by the need to respond to ever-changing external conditions. Another glitch in the system emerges in our drive to do and accomplish, which has necessitated us committing some things to autopilot in order to conserve energy for overcoming new barriers and obstacles. But too much autopilot and we lose the ability to respond to our environment, which is ever-changing, or regulate thoughts and feelings, which leads to burn or fizzle out. Not to mention how much of your life goes by unnoticed, eliminating a myriad of opportunities for the satisfaction we all so crave. Mindfulness is about training the mind to counteract these evolutionary glitches; to regulate our responses to thoughts and feelings by cultivating awareness and the ability to distinguish between the need to do or just to be and choose to engage or disengage. Thoughts are not facts. And they come and go and change and evolve and disappear and many of them are habitual patterns that have been formed by your external environment. You do not have to follow them every which way. Neuroplasticity is the idea that what you practice is what you'll cultivate and get better at. It can be challenging to think and feel in new ways, but it will grow new muscles and neural pathways in your mind. What to practice? SELF-REGULATION: We cannot control the things around us.. Life is full of contradictions and compromises and imperfections and change. We cannot stop that. And because we have consciousness, we are aware of suffering and we suffer about the fact we suffer - this is created in our brains. Learning to steer your attention where you want it helps your brain create satisfaction and ease rather than dissatisfaction and tension. ANCHORING: uses the senses or the breath to take the focus from the busy mind to the experience of a sense. Staying focused without force strengthens the part of the brain that allows you to switch focus, particularly when you want to move from the doing mind to the being mind.
ATTENTION. You are where your attention is at any moment and you need focused attention to grow neural pathways and learn new things. We have to learn to pay attention, especially in a world that demands (and praises) multi-tasking and constant busy-ness. Intentionally move your attention from the mind to the body, as your body can withstand emotions, your mind can't as it is hard-wired to come up with a solution even if there isn't one. CURIOSITY - approach everything and everyone with open-minded curiosity, accepting ongoing change and growth It's our ability to regulate our attention, reduce our reactive nature and cultivate positive emotions that holds the key to health and happiness. Key Mindfulness practices (as listed in Sane New World) R.A.I.N (recognition, acceptance, investigation, non-identification) Stop and notice S.T.O.P (stop, think, options - for bringing you back -, proceed) It's funny how these things work, because shortly after writing this post on emotional evolution, I came across these words shared by Elizabeth Gilbert, which talk about the same idea. I wanted to share them here to remember them. Years ago, a wise friend offered me a wonderful explanation as to why sometimes it’s so difficult to be a person — and why (in particular) our emotional pain can be so confusing, so enduring, so punishing, and so difficult to comprehend. I've just finished reading Ruby Wax's book Sane New World, which shares her experiences and knowledge about depression, the brain and mindfulness. I was drawn to the book because, like Ruby, I am fascinated by the mind and, in particular, how advances in neuroscience are helping us understand mental well-being, which is becoming increasingly urgent in our world. She talks about it in terms of being the next phase of human evolution and I think I agree. At the very least, it is a concept I am fascinated by.
Thinking about it in terms of evolution, our brain has come a long way from a single-celled amoeba, but it is still evolving and it still carries centuries of evolutionary progress with it, which is both helpful and maladaptive. Essentially it is primed for survival and some of those mechanisms have not yet adapted to environmental changes. In fact, our three brains sometimes contradict each other: the reptilian (oldest) brain primed for survival through mating, killing, eating; our limbic brain, developed to bond and nurture and co-operate; and our neocortex (executive) brain, which fine-tuned self-control, consciousness, language, self-regulation, as well as rational, strategic, logical thought. While these brains have developed in compliment to each other, they have also not yet totally aligned with each other or fully adapted to the changing environment. Survival today (for most of us living in the the developed world, a term I dislike but use here for simplicity's sake) means something different from survival thousands of years ago. Something in our brain which once ensured our survival (fight or flight) is now, in a modern environment, leaving us in a constant state of anxiety and stress and depleting us if we don't learn to self-regulate. The brain is complicated and we are only just beginning to understand some of the ways it works. But what we have learnt in the last twenty years, could, I think, have exciting implications for where we go next as a species. In particular, our 'reality' and experience of the world is a direct result of how we use our minds. At the same time our brains are malleable and plastic and can continue to be shaped and re-shaped throughout our lives. This presents enormous potential, if we learn to exercise our minds as we exercise our bodies. Quoting the final line of her book, perhaps the next part of human evolution will shift from survival of the fittest to survival of the wisest. I like this idea. She, and I, believe mindfulness has a huge part to play in this evolutionary step. I have been attending an eight week mindfulness based stress reduction course, which involves 2 hours each week in a group with an instructor, learning mindfulness practices. Although I have been practicing mindfulness for a couple of years already, it is a journey which, in the words of Chantek the course leader, you keep turning up to with a beginner's mind and curiosity, and I felt my journey would be enriched by practicing with others and with guidance. That has been the case.
On Saturday, we had a day long silent retreat. I really didn't know what to expect, either in terms of how it would be to be in a village hall with 14 people you know a little but not well and in silence, or in terms of how comfortable I would feel in a day of silence and meditation - my meditation practices rarely last longer than 20 minutes. But I loved it. I loved the opportunity to go deeper with the meditation and found myself respond positively to it. Strangely enough, lunch, which I thought would be really odd in silence, was particularly lovely. There was a real sense of sharing and community, alongside a sense of privacy and respect for something bigger than us. It was helped by the fact that Spring decided to arrive that day, with glorious sunshine, clear blue sky, leaves unfurling on the trees, bulbs bursting, birds singing. We sat on the steps of the village hall and held our faces to the sun, bathing in its warmth. The whole day was unbelievably nourishing! During the day, various readings were shared with us. This was my favourite - it sums up what mindfulness means to me. A Natural Ease —- by Ven. Lama Gendun Rinpoche Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don’t strain yourself; there is nothing to do nor undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mnd has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Why identify with, and become attached to it, passing judgement upon it and ourselves. Far better to simply let the entire game happen on its own, springing up and falling back like waves—- without changing or manipulating anything—- and notice how everything vanishes and reappears, magically, again and again, time without end. Only our searching for happiness prevents us from seeing it. It’s like a vivid rainbow which you pursue without ever catching, or a dog chasing its own tail. Although peace and happiness do not exist as an actual thing or place, it is always available and accompanies you every instant. Don’t believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are like today’s ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. Wanting to grasp the ungraspable, you exhaust yourself in vain, As soon as you open and relax this tight fist of grasping, infinite space is there—-open, inviting and comfortable. Make use of this spaciousness, this freedom and natural ease. Don’t search any further. Don’t go into the tangled jungle looking for the great awakened elephant who is already resting quietly at home in front of your own hearth. Nothing to do or undo, Nothing to force, nothing to want and nothing missing—- Emaho! Marvelous! Everything happens by itself! At Karma Tarchine Lundroup Buddhist Monastery - Biollet, France So what does the natural world have to show us about being mindful and how does mindfulness bring us back to the natural world?
Acceptance: whether it be a bird ruffling its feathers against the cold, or a tree growing up through an abandoned building, the way in which the natural world accepts the things it cannot change and gets on with it is a humble reminder. Learning to accept what we cannot change or have control over and having the courage and persistence to take action over the things we can is one of the most important steps towards finding contentment in our lives. Patience: in the natural world, things happen at their own pace. Nature can act quickly or slowly but it doesn't bend to external pressure to achieve things faster than necessary. Being in the natural world can bring us back to our natural pace too. There's no bringing out the sun when it's raining, or making a tomato plant grow to your schedule. And in nature, patience can yield wonderful results. Just the language we use to talk about the natural world reveals what it can teach us about patience - grow, cultivate, nourish. Impermanence: nothing is forever and everything is constantly changing. All we have is here and now. Lie on your back in the grass and watch clouds blow across the sky or sit by a river and watch the water flow by. The sky and the river are fixed but the clouds and the water are ever present yet never the same. This impermanence within a frame of permanence and reality creates a sense that anything is possible but nothing is certain. Similarly, practicing mindfulness cultivates an awareness that our thoughts and feelings also come and go within a more permanent frame of reality. All we can do is accept them and be aware of what exists here and now. Interconnectedness: the systems observable in the nature teach us that we are part of an intricately interconnected world. Cultivating those connections, which cannot be separated from each other or yourself helps you act with more compassion and kindness and is vital for the well being of ourselves, others and the world we live in. From the natural world and the practice of mindfulness emerges a new understanding of life and a sense of meaning that goes beyond expression because it is so much bigger than us. The second chapter of Mindfulness and the Natural World focuses on the mind. Our minds are wonderful organs. They allow us to express our thoughts and experiences of the world. However, they can also be our best friend and worst enemy at the same time. And they are constantly seeking our attention. For me, one of the best things about developing mindfulness has been learning not to pay attention to all the thoughts that go through my head. They don't necessarily go away. I just notice them less and when I do notice them, I am more able to choose which ones to put my energy towards and which ones to just notice and move on from.
The chapter talks about how the thinking mind is brilliant at certain ways of thinking - analysing, planning, categorising, remembering, judging, assessing. It also tends to be weighted towards negative messages; a hangover from days when problem-solving was a constant need to ensure our survival. Even post-survival, our minds continue to do the job they were evolved for - look for potential threats and ways to better our situation through creation and innovation. Some of that has brought great progress, but a lot has brought great suffering. Without threats to our survival, our purpose in modern life has been to achieve so-called happiness and we have created a number of stories and images of what that looks like. Thompson describes how, because our minds are built to find solutions to problems, and happiness has become a problem we need to solve, we have 'created a number of potential ideals we should aspire to, which we think will give us a constant state of feeling good - such as having more money, owning a house, having a successful career, being more confident and having a perfect body'. This leads us to pursue these relentlessly, in the pursuit of happiness, which we have defined as feeling good all the time, and if we don't feel good all the time, our minds tell us we have failed. All this results in becoming slaves to our minds, separated from direct experience and this can lead to anxiety, depression, self-doubt and general unhappiness. We end up seeking something we will not find, while missing life for what it is. In actual fact, our states of mind are transitory, changing all the time, depending on what is going in both within and around us. And our ‘self’, despite its tendency to develop and follow fixed behavioural habits, can grow, change and develop as we come into contact with different people and experiences. We are not a fixed, separate entity, but part of a huge universe of interacting parts. When we learn to accept this, paying attention to only the here and now and stop trying to hold on to a fixed notion of self, we begin to discover a greater sense of freedom and happiness in our lives. In this great clip, Shauna Shapiro explains what she sees as the three core components to mindfulness: intention, attention, and attitude.
Intention is about knowing your purpose and direction in what you are doing. It is not necessarily about achieving a goal, but being clear abut the journey you are traveling and why. Attention is about bringing your focus and awareness to the present moment, paying attention to the here and now and not getting lost in distractions, especially from the mind. Attitude is about how you approach what you are doing - with kindness, curiosity, open-mindedness Some memorable quotes:
I was first awakened to the power of nature as a gateway to a pure joy that is hard to find anywhere else less than a decade ago. Not that I haven’t always appreciated odd moments of it - the warmth of the sun on my face; inhaling great lungs full of fresh air; green leaves against the sky beyond; the sheer awe inspired by the mountains or the sea. But it was on meeting my now husband, a nature lover, nearly seven years ago that I really became aware of just how life affirming nature is. How it removes you from yourself and your own worries and connects you with something so much bigger and more wondrous. And how, at the same time as removing you from yourself, it connects you with something deep inside of yourself and brings you right into the here and now. I saw in him and gradually began to experience for myself, the restorative power of being attentive to the natural world. And on my journey of discovering mindfulness, cultivating awareness, reconnecting with your senses and learning to just be, I’ve often found myself craving more and more time in the natural world. So I was drawn to Clare Thompson’s book, Mindfulness and the Natural World. Reading the first chapter last night struck a few chords. She describes how as a teenager she felt trapped in the sea of thoughts that ran through her mind and how, believing that, as she had been taught at school, if she analysed and understood everything she was feeling or thinking then she would find a solution. But of course, while problem solving and analytical thought are fantastic for some purposes, in other situations, when it comes to finding the meaning of or purpose for your life for example, it is useless. She describes how the natural world freed her from this from time to time, but it never stopped the questioning and searching for answers. That is where the mindfulness comes in. The power of noticing, what you are thinking, what your body feel’s like, what your emotions are, what’s around you, but with no judgement, no expectations and no need to change anything. And in those moments, the joy of being alive and part of something so much greater than ourselves, is the sole purpose of life. While I greatly value the benefits of meditation, I have to admit to still not making time for it every day. In fact, while I have phases of meditating daily, I also have phases when I don't manage it at all.
However, I am acutely aware of the benefits of mindfulness, being present and fully aware, every day, even if I am not meditating: the ability to ground myself in the here and now and to connect myself with the world around me, as well as being able to connect to my own inner reserves of strength, calm, focus and clarity. It's definitely making me enjoy life more. So what helps me be more mindful even if I am not meditating daily? Practices such as the body scan, focusing on the breath, paying attention to the senses at any given moment, listening attentively, bringing attention to one thing and one thing and patiently bringing it back when it wavers (or micro-meditations as described in this HBR blog). All of these can be done anywhere, anytime. And the benefits are literally a change in the way your brain functions - better concentration and better judgement. Recently, one of my guided meditations asked me to think about why I was choosing to learn mindfulness meditation practice and engage daily in meditation. For me, that felt quite clear. I want to learn to just be, without striving to be more. I also want to be attuned to feelings of calm and clarity. I also want to be able to focus on one thing at a time, which in our world of multiple distractions that seem constantly to surround us, can be difficult.
I have lived life with the belief that to be interesting and successful, I should cultivate multiple interests, seize every opportunity that comes my way, and be able to multitask on a grand scale. And this can be true and living this way has bought me much satisfaction and pleasure. However, as exposure to opportunities and interesting stuff increases dramatically with the tools of technology, I have become increasingly aware of the need to cultivate the ability to focus. I am keen to read Daniel Goleman's book on the subject (Focus: the hidden driver of excellence), which explains how peak performance results from the right balance of 'fast' and 'slow' thinking. He argues that understanding how each is stimulated and how they work together, helps us develop the kind of focus that leads to greater happiness, better relationships and increased productivity. In the meantime, the practice of mindfulness is all about finding that focus One of the most appealing elements of the mindfulness philosophy and practice, for me, is the cultivation of a non-judgemental outlook and approach to others and to yourself. As someone who naturally holds strong positions on things, I can easily fall into the trap of judging.
When I was a teenager, I suffered some serious health problems. After several years of hospital treatment, I ended up in a rehab program based on the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. While not based on mindfulness, it cultivated empathy, compassion and forgiveness and during that time I experienced relationships based on honesty but without judgment. For all of us there, recovery, often a matter of life and death, depended on our ability to face ourselves and others without deceit. It meant facing up to our failings and difficulties in a non-judging way, accepting them and then working out how to work on the bits that needed amending, being accountable for the way we were to ourselves and others in order to live a healthy life. That experience, of learning self-honesty and self-compassion and using them to overcome difficulty, is part of what made me become a teacher. I wanted my classroom to be a place where pupils experienced those kind of honest but kind and supportive relationships. So how can mindfulness help with this? Mindfulness is about “Paying attention in the present moment, on purpose, and without judgment''. With so much to think of in the classroom, keeping attention focused in the now, both in terms of space and time can be difficult. But it is essential if you are to give children that sense of personal and connected learning. Similarly, it can be all too easy to get caught up in judgments - of others (students, colleagues, parents) and yourself. Developing the skills needed to react in a kind and compassionate way to yourself and others and to ask what's going on for you and what will help, can help bring that classroom (not to mention yourself) back to that place of support and challenge where great learning can happen. Research shows that cultivating the practice of mindfulness makes teachers more effective by equipping them with the social-emotional skills essential to be a good teacher. http://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/teacher-blog/2013/aug/04/primary-school-teacher-lifelong-ambition-mindfulness So I've finished the first week of my current course. Despite having really enjoyed some daily meditation in the last month, I've struggled with the meditation this week. Whereas previously, I have found myself reaching a place of deep relaxation in my 10 minute meditates, this week I have not been able to fully let go and have been struggling with an impatience 'just to get it done'. However, as the name of the game is non-criticism and patience, I shall take this as par for the course and trust that this will pass and I will be where I am meant to be with it each and every day. The good thing is I do not doubt that learning this will improve my life. I have seen the beginnings of that just in understanding a little of the theory of mindfulness, so have no doubt that the practice will only enhance that sense of peace and acceptance in my life.
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June 2015
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