The chapter Connecting in How Remarkable Women Lead threw up some challenges for me. I'd always though of myself as a good connector, in that I place value, and therefore time and energy, on building relationships and nurturing friends (in the best way I know how - not saying I am perfect at it) is something I work hard at. As I read the chapter though, it was clear that there was an element of connection that was absent from my life - that of people from whom I draw energy, support and wisdom from in my professional life in a formal way.
At first, this made me really uncomfortable. I don't like asking favours of others and I like relationships to be reciprocal - so the concept of a mentor felt too one way for me. However, reading more about mentoring, the benefits for both parties as well as how it belongs to the pay-it-forward model I believe in, I began to rethink. I also began to feel that the act of 'taking' from others would actually be good for me too, as life is give and take. So, in February, when I began a process of finding my 'what next', I set out to find myself a mentor, someone who could help m develop and have a positive impact. I brazenly approached a woman who I had only once met before, but who a) energised and inspired me by who she was in that meeting and b) whose career path and job also inspired me and made me think if or how I might make similar moves. To my delight she agreed.
At first, this made me really uncomfortable. I don't like asking favours of others and I like relationships to be reciprocal - so the concept of a mentor felt too one way for me. However, reading more about mentoring, the benefits for both parties as well as how it belongs to the pay-it-forward model I believe in, I began to rethink. I also began to feel that the act of 'taking' from others would actually be good for me too, as life is give and take. So, in February, when I began a process of finding my 'what next', I set out to find myself a mentor, someone who could help m develop and have a positive impact. I brazenly approached a woman who I had only once met before, but who a) energised and inspired me by who she was in that meeting and b) whose career path and job also inspired me and made me think if or how I might make similar moves. To my delight she agreed.
At our first meeting, I felt a little self-conscious, awkward even. I was plagued with doubts. Would this work? What did I actually want from this? Was I being self-serving/ promoting or self-developing? Would we be able to create a sense of equality which was going to be important for me in the relationship? How should/ could this work? Am I wasting everyone's time? But I had read enough about the benefits of mentoring to know this was something I wanted to pursue, and I promised myself I would try it and learn from the experience in one way or another. After nearly two hours, in which we got to know more about each other and what this might look like and where I was at with my life, I left our first meeting feeling in awe of the generosity she had shown me with her time and openmindedness and a little closer to articulating and focusing the journey I was on.
At our second meeting last week, we discussed a partnership agreement - what we needed (or didn't need) from each other to make the relationship work; before going on to look at some of my medium to long term goals. These took more the form of three areas which I wanted to keep developing and which I wanted to lay at her feet as things I hoped she could encourage and challenge me on
At our second meeting last week, we discussed a partnership agreement - what we needed (or didn't need) from each other to make the relationship work; before going on to look at some of my medium to long term goals. These took more the form of three areas which I wanted to keep developing and which I wanted to lay at her feet as things I hoped she could encourage and challenge me on