All other things being equal (talent, education, drive), we now saw it is the centred man or woman who sustains a successful leadership journey. These leaders thrive when things go well and adapt to significant change without losing their way, because they are centered. Not just emotionally but also intellectually, socially and physically. A strong core gave our women leaders the courage to embrace new situations and adapt, to learn. A strong core helped them preserve and build physical energy. And the confidence that comes from a core belief in who you are and what is meaningful to you made them more open. They could listen to their social instincts. What's more, they liked themselves.
Extract from the Introduction to 'How Remarkable Women Lead: the breakthrough model for work and life'.
Since reading How Remarkable Women Lead, my journey has been focused on developing the 'centredness' that the book describes in its introduction and then lays out a road map for. I have read and reread the book, as well as other books referenced in the text, making notes on what I need to do to develop a strong core, preserve and build social, emotional, physical and intellectual energy and thrive.
As with the book, my journey started with meaning and I dedicated time and energy to really discovering what makes my heart beat faster, what energises me, what drives my passion and inspires me to push myself and grow. I've thought a lot about my core values and principles and the activities I chose to engage in that make me happier because they align with those. I've tinkered with my genetic set point of happiness through meditation and physical health (sleep and exercise). I've explored my strengths and thought how I can build what I do every day around those and I've stopped obsessing about my weaknesses. I've learnt to set my own goals and expectations, limiting how much they are dictated by others and recognising and accepting when they are. Alongside this, I've paid careful attention to how my energy flows (physical, cognitive, psychological, social), built habits that refill or sustain it and started to cut out things that drain it. I've read books about training your attention (Focus by Daniel Goleman; More Time to Think by Nancy Kline; The art of thinking clearly by Rolf Dobelli) and continued to cultivate mindfulness practices.
As a natural pessimist (I scored strongly towards the pessimist end of Seligman's continuum), Framing (or reframing) has also required some attention. I've undergone years of CBT trying to change my thinking and behaviour patterns. Starting with meaning, however, has helped me dramatically with reframing. I found that as long as I felt I was staying true to what mattered to me, I was able to frame situations I would previously have focused on negatively in a positive light. I also realised it mattered to me that I be an energiser, for myself and others, which has enabled me to choose my response in a way I couldn't before. What's more, reading the Energising section of the book showed me what a drain on my energy it was being pessimistic all the time and given what a valuable resource energy is, if I could change that, it would be a virtuous circle, giving me more energy. Discovering the world of coaching as opposed to counselling has also helped me with this, focusing as it does on the capable and whole, developing awareness through a variety of lenses, envisaging desired outcomes and designing the steps to success. I've also worked hard to become more comfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty, and to develop the skills of flexibility and adaptability, antidotes to the permanent, pervasive and personal mindset of a pessimist.
While these things weren't new to me exactly, it is the framework presented in this book, and the way these are linked together as part of a whole, that has been so enlightening. As the model suggests, I move between and around these five arenas, reading, practicing, experiencing, observing, reflecting, learning and, dare I say it, thriving.
As a natural pessimist (I scored strongly towards the pessimist end of Seligman's continuum), Framing (or reframing) has also required some attention. I've undergone years of CBT trying to change my thinking and behaviour patterns. Starting with meaning, however, has helped me dramatically with reframing. I found that as long as I felt I was staying true to what mattered to me, I was able to frame situations I would previously have focused on negatively in a positive light. I also realised it mattered to me that I be an energiser, for myself and others, which has enabled me to choose my response in a way I couldn't before. What's more, reading the Energising section of the book showed me what a drain on my energy it was being pessimistic all the time and given what a valuable resource energy is, if I could change that, it would be a virtuous circle, giving me more energy. Discovering the world of coaching as opposed to counselling has also helped me with this, focusing as it does on the capable and whole, developing awareness through a variety of lenses, envisaging desired outcomes and designing the steps to success. I've also worked hard to become more comfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty, and to develop the skills of flexibility and adaptability, antidotes to the permanent, pervasive and personal mindset of a pessimist.
While these things weren't new to me exactly, it is the framework presented in this book, and the way these are linked together as part of a whole, that has been so enlightening. As the model suggests, I move between and around these five arenas, reading, practicing, experiencing, observing, reflecting, learning and, dare I say it, thriving.